Getting things done - day 3

Here are the final questions to examine as we try to be more productive ... [ht: Mark Sanborn]
________________
Question number six: Do you understand the difference between perfectionism and excellence? Many people take pride in having extremely high standards but there is a difference between having high standards and being a perfectionist.

A perfectionist is someone who has a neurotic attention to details, usually stemming from insecurity. Excellence is different. Excellence is a commitment to high standards that means additional time or energy invested in a task will be noticeably better to the end-user.

Some things are worth doing and getting done. Some things are worth doing well. Other things are worth doing very, very well. Perfectionism is the inability to know the difference.

Question number seven: Have you developed discipline? Discipline is doing what needs to be done rather than doing what you want to do. It is (also) the ability to delay immediate gratification in order to obtain long-term gratification.

Question number eight: Are your people skills sufficiently developed? There are only three real resources in the world: money, time, energy

The scarcest resource in our life is time. The second scarcest resource is energy. And if you invest your time and energy wisely, you can accomplish anything that you want to accomplish, including financial goals and objectives that you've set for yourself.

Another resource some of us have is the time and energy of other people. If you're only good at managing your own time and energy, you're not fully utilizing your resources. Leaders must develop the ability to get results with people. Your skill at getting results depends on how highly developed your people skills have become.

Question number nine: Do you suffer from the "super person syndrome"? The key is not doing it all yourself. Trying to do it all yourself will severally limit how much you can accomplish both personally and organizationally.

Question number ten: Do you procrastinate? Some people may answer by saying, "Well, let me think about that for a while and I'll get back to you later with an answer." The problem that all of us face is the tendency to postpone, the unwillingness to do what needs to be done at the moment and do something we'd rather do instead.

Question number eleven: Do you fear failure? Maybe you fear success.

Psychologists say that just as crippling as a fear of failure might be, so is a fear of success. Some people fear the consequences, the increased expectations that they have to live up to when they're successful. As a result they sometimes short-circuit themselves in their attempt to get things done. A fear of failure or a fear of success can be a very real barrier in our attempt to get things done.

Question number twelve: Have you attended a meeting this past week that was a complete waste of your time? Most of us can honestly answer yes to this question. Work at cutting down on meeting attendance that isn't really necessary.

Remember that organization and discipline, delegation, good people skills, confidence, and understanding the difference between perfectionism and excellence are the keys to productive and well-balanced lives.
_______________
My recommendation is to work on 2/3 of the most relevant questions in your situation. It may help in really making change for us to be productive. Remember: we are all works in progress.

Mine to work on is 7, 9, 10! You?

Getting things done - day 2

Here is a continuation of the thoughts from yesterday. God knows I am the one who needs these the most! As far as the plans in writing (you will read about) I am a sticky / list kind of guy. I love to cross things out and tangibly throw stuff away. There is closer for me! (sorry for the long post).

"We must learn, individually and collectively, to work smarter, to work faster, and to do it in such a way that we don't sacrifice the quality of the results that we're producing. Here's a 12 question quiz that will help you to begin thinking along these lines. (we begin all our actions with thought ...)

Question number one: Have you committed in writing a long-range plan? In the mid-1940's, a 15 year old boy sat down to make out a list of his life's goals. He wrote down 127 goals. He wanted to explore the Congo, Nile, and Amazon rivers. He wanted to read the complete works of Shakespeare, Aristotle, and Socrates. He decided that he would climb Mt. Everest and Mt. Kilimanjaro. He wanted to take off from and land on the deck of an aircraft carrier. His final goal was to walk on the moon.

By 1986, John Goddard had accomplished 108 of those 127 goals. He knew that the key to a fulfilling and successful life was a sense of purpose and a clearly identified set of goals so that when life ended, he would have done those things that he deemed to be most important. Research suggests that very few Americans ever take time to do what Goddard did as a 15-year-old. We don't have a sense of what we're trying to accomplish on a monthly or yearly basis. The first step in getting more done and producing results in our personal and professional lives is committing to a long-range plan of action that very carefully details the things that we want to accomplish.

Question number two: Do you have a weekly and daily written plan? Most people say they have a daily plan, but not a weekly plan. I call this "knee jerk time management". Monday morning you get to the office and you have 127 things to do that week. You determine to do all 127 on Monday. By the end of the day, when the dust is settled, the list is up to 128. Not only have you not accomplished most of what you tried to do, but some things have come up during the day that you've had to add to your list. Tuesday morning you start--full speed--to accomplish the list. And by noon on Tuesday you're so frustrated at your lack of results that you wad that list up into a ball and throw the paper out the window.

Planning one week at a time gives you a greater sense of organization and focus because it lets you control your schedule rather than letting your schedule control you. Question number three: Is every item on your daily plan prioritized? Have you noticed that at the end of a typical day you've accomplished everything except the most important item on the list? This is "reversed prioritization." The easy things get done and the important things stay undone. Having a daily list is only part of the equation. Prioritizing every item on the list so that you know what needs to be done first is the next key.

Question number four: Are you consistently utilizing a system of time management? There are numerous time management systems, some with very fine selling points. The system that you use, however, is less important than the fact that you use a single system and that you use it consistently. Determine which system you're willing to commit to for at least the next year or longer and begin using it every day.

Question number five: Are you an architect or a fire fighter? An architect is one who designs the future. A fire fighter responds to crisis. Many of us become victims of other people who lack a system and the skills aforementioned. As a result, these people create crises or respond to crises that impact us. You must be proactive rather than reactive if you're going to produce results." (visit Mark Sanborn)

I know... a lot to digest. Take the weekend to think about a couple of these that speak to you. Then act!


Any thoughts?

Getting things done - day 1

Time is our most valued resource. Once it's gone it can never be replaced.

If you are like me, you may struggle with productivity. Part of it is AAD (adult attention deficit - yeah I made that up) but part of it is much on my plate and deciding what needs to be done today and what can wait.

Mark Sanborn wrote an article about how we can be more productive in our everyday lives. I want to share segments for the next couple of days. I hope it will help you .... and me!

"There is one common ailment facing America today: even though we are doing more, we are accomplishing less. For instance, a client recently wondered, "How do you balance the various components of your day to achieve the right allocation of time?" He mentioned that his time had "competitors": work, family, sleep, education, exercise, recreation, meals, and a myriad of other activities.

How does one get more done and get more results out of each day? But...why should we get more things done?

First, we need to increase our productivity so that ultimately we can have more time to spend with the people who really matter to us. Second, the better we get at managing our time and increasing our results, the more time we have to do the things that we want to do.

Our challenge is not to put more time in our lives, but to put more life in our time."

Tomorrow, I will share 6 questions to ask ourselves about our own productivity.

Small Adjustment: Big Difference

Einstein once defined insanity as, "doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." I have caught myself on more than one occasion recently doing just that - expecting a different result after doing same thing over and over.

I've realized that most of the great things that happen in our lives are not huge decisions. They are the small, seemingly insignificant, decisions we make day in day out! Stuff like ... eating the right foods. Moving regularly through some exercise. Watching the less TV. Reading more books. Spending time with the significant people in your life. Putting our trust and hope in a God who doesn't change and has given us the opportunity to make a difference in someone's life - everyday!

What is a small change for me may be a big one for you - and visa versa. The idea is that we start where we are.

It may be spending 10 minutes of focused attention with your child, asking the clerk how their day is going (and listening), or letting someone know what they mean to you.

What is the latest life lesson you've learned?

Tribes - we need you to lead us

Seth Godin is a great writer among other things. He is a great thinker. Marketing and personal development are two areas which he's gotten me to think, dare I say, change my paradigm on a few ideas.

He has a new book called Tribes. Everyone is a leader! Anyone who wants to make a difference can. Tribes are about faith, respect, and a belief in an idea. You can read more about this here and here.

Download the book for .95 Cents at iTunes. You can get Free a PDF of the book here.

I am enjoying the audiobook as I type!

What is a book (leadership, personal development type) you would recommend?

Don't Forget

I get the privilege of taking communion each week at church. It's a way to remember the sacrifice Jesus gave for me on the cross and time of fresh commitment and renewal. I never want to forget, or take for granted, the cost of salvation, the power of resurrection, and the hope there is living for Jesus.

This has made me think a bit what what else I don't want to forget:

• My first kiss with Melissa
• Holding my boys after their birth
• Seeing the look on my daughter's face on our "gotcha" day
• What it feels like to get a second chance
• Growing up in a home full of love
• What it's like to be the outsider
• Uncertainty of the next step ... and taking it anyway
  
• The moments the Holy Spirit touched my life from childhood to today
• The last time I caused my wife or kids cry
• Exhilaration of crossing the finish line after 26.2 miles
  
• The comfort and joy of being with family
• Unexplainable humility of sharing in life transformation
  

There is more. Much more ....

What about you? What is it you never want to forget?
[idea ht: Aaron Ivey]

I like this blog ...

If you find your self reading a lot of blogs these days and are not using a reader - you may be wasting a lot of time. You can visit one place and read all your blogs in one place ... one visit. This video is about 3 min and explains it very well.



I've used Bloglines before and really love using Google Reader currently.

If you subscribe to a reader ... let's take an informal poll here.

Which reader do you use? Please let me know ....

Combating Zackly!

You may have some stanky breath ... and not know it.

Take the test here - takes 10 seconds! You may have to test it a couple of times for accuracy!
[ht: KemMeyer]

Hard on yourself / Hard on others

John Newton (author of the hymn "Amazing Grace") said, “When people are right with God, they are apt to be hard on themselves and easy on others. But when they are NOT right with God, they are easy on themselves and hard on others.”

I am not as bad as the person who is __________ (fill in the blank). At least I don't __________ (fill in the blank). I tend to feel better about myself when I compare myself with someone else's sin / problem whether it's my coworker or the latest celebrity in rehab.

My goal is to balance grace and truth in my life. I need to give both and receive both in my life. You need both. Scripture says Jesus was full of Grace and Truth (John 1:14). He's my standard not my neighbor.

This is easier said than done - Thoughts?

To here a message about "Feeling UnFit for the Task" click here.

What does complaining say about us?

I read this last week and haven't been able to shake it:

The opposite of complaining is leading...

:: If you don't like a decision your boss makes, lead up.
:: If you don't like your office culture, lead around you.
:: If you don't like your circumstances, lead through it.
:: If you don't like your church's short-comings, lead out.

Complaining is a sign of giving up. It's admitting that you're a follower, not a leader. A leader is a never a victim. But someone who sees that all conditions are subject to change with the right influence.
[ht: ben armet]

Thoughts?

Now this is a jingle ...

"Meat falls off the bone..." not sure why but this cracks me up.

14 years today

I am grateful. Melissa and I have been married 14 years today. I've said it before...she's the best thing that's happened to me.

Cards v. Bills

After living in AZ for the last three years, I finally attended my first game at University of Phoenix Stadium (home of the Cardinal and Super Bowl 2008 - I don't want to look up the roman numeral!)

Here was my view of the game. 15 rows up from end zone (which I equate to bleacher bum territory in baseball). I had a great view of the replay screen and enjoyed hanging with Derrick Logan - Great guy!

What stadium is the best venue you've witnessed a sporting event?

Marathon Update

I finished my first week of runs. I waited (kind of on purpose) to run til dusk tonight. Not sure why but I really like the evening run. The weather was great although there was a lot of traffic. I was to run 5 miles today but purposely ran a bit more...was feeling strong.

Here was my playlist (my most favorite yet):
Where the streets have no name - U2
Unbreakable - Michael Jackson
Everywhere I go - Lincoln Brewster
Are you gonna be my girl - Jett
Typical - Mute Math
Song of Hope - Robbie Seay Band
Lonely no more - Rob Thomas
The Pretender - Foo Fighters
How He loves - Kim Walker
100 - Tommy Simms
If I never see your face again - Maroon 5 (feat. Rihanna)

My surprise of the runs was "How He loves." It's not a typical workout song at all. It's in 6/8 time but the lyrics really inspired me tonight.

Any recommendations for workout songs?

Pass the potatoes and the values please!

Ronald Reagan once said, "All great change in America begins at the dinner table."

I see the truth in that statement. Eating together, no TV, no computer, no distractions ... just eating and talking has become a lost pleasure of life. Granted there are times where it is difficult to achieve due to schedules, etc.

I remember my family eating together as a kid more often than not and I feel it really help us remain connected with each other. In a world where it's easier to stay connected electronically rather than life on life, I am making a commitment to stay connected with my family eating dinner together more often than not.

Instead of "waiting on the world to change" how can we do our part each day? One way is the seemingly insignificant dinner time with my family.

When passing the potatoes, let's not forget to pass the values that you wish to see in the world: compassion, social justice, responsibility, and self-control.

What can you do to change your world?

In N Out ... Anthem

It's not in Anthem proper but being 4 miles from my house is close enough!

Imagine my excitement when I drove by the construction site this morning. For those who've never experienced an In N Out Burger ... sorry about that!

Giving and Getting

I agree with some of the talk lately about our society over extending ourselves in so many ways, especially financially.  We've forgotten about delayed gratification and to revert back to character building principles seems so ... so ... lame!  We want and we get!  Bunch of getters we are.

Ben Arment works for Catalyst. I really like his blog. Challenging and to the point. A few days ago he wrote this about Giving and Getting ...

"Moving from a getter to a giver is the best way to achieve what you want.

Let's say you want to be mentored by somebody. You want them to share books, ask how you're doing, pray for you... but they're not biting. So reverse it. Pour into them. See what happens.

Let's say you want to build a network. You've got goals, and you need contacts. Try not asking for anything for a while. Instead, only give out. Watch how often your calls get returned.

In the social economy, givers always end up the biggest getters."

What do you think?

Annoyed?

Quote of the Day: "You are no bigger than the things that annoy you." :: Jerry Bundsen

I read this quote and was hit right between the eyes. What annoys me? Oh this ... and that ... and definitely that! Honestly, pride in others annoys me cause I hate that about myself. Another is not taking responsibility ... which is one of my indicators of personal maturity (not age).

Here is a little something that will keep you honest about yourself.
______________________
Hal's Take: "Whenever I am tempted to think highly of myself, my parenting, or even my own growth, I think of this quote. It's hard to put yourself on a pedestal when you find yourself extremely annoyed by your children, your spouse, or the woman in front of you in the grocery store line talking on her hands free cell phone instead of paying attention to the cashier. We all have our list of pet peeves. Bet you can probably think of a few right now, can't you?

If you're anything like the rest of us, you've sometimes allowed these little annoyances to get in the way of a good conversation or a meaningful exchange with your children. The next time you find yourself gritting your teeth at something insignificant, let this quote sink in and have a good laugh at your own expense. Then, consider it a reminder that it's time to stretch, because as long as there is even the smallest amount of pettiness in our lives, there is room for growth." Hal Runkel, LMFT, author of ScreamFree Parenting: Raising Your Kids by Keeping Your Cool.

What is annoying to you?

Bulletin Board Material

Day 1 of 16 week Marathon Training.

Any bulletin board material?

What's your weak link?

I had a great conversation with a friend yesterday about the expectation of who we want to be ... and who we really are. The disparity is the thing that either drives us to be better or discourages us to say, "forget it, I will never attain that pipe dream!"

How many times have we wanted to improve only to be pulled down to the reality that you "ain't all that!" - excuse the bad grammar. This whole scene sounds like the scene given in Romans 7. We want to do right, but don't.

I like how the chapter ends: 25The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different.

Chapter 8: 1-2With the arrival of Jesus, the Messiah, that fateful dilemma is resolved. Those who enter into Christ's being-here-for-us no longer have to live under a continuous, low-lying black cloud. A new power is in operation. The Spirit of life in Christ, like a strong wind, has magnificently cleared the air, freeing you from a fated lifetime of brutal tyranny at the hands of sin and death.

3-4God went for the jugular when he sent his own Son. He didn't deal with the problem as something remote and unimportant. In his Son, Jesus, he personally took on the human condition, entered the disordered mess of struggling humanity in order to set it right once and for all. The law code, weakened as it always was by fractured human nature, could never have done that.

Bottom line: I need Jesus and his power in my life...daily...each moment! "But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ." - I Thes. 15:57

What's your weak link in your life?

LifeShare - Day 7

Today is the last day of the week long focus of LifeShare. After today, no more sharing life! (haha) I've been thinking of listing a few things I want develop in my life. A couple of dudes beat me to the punch listing theirs examining comparison trap (which I relate to) and the "That Guy" syndrome (which I related to as well).

My rhetorical questions to deal with: (answering any one of these may open a can of emotional worms for me).
:: Why do I stay up late thinking I will get it done.
:: Why do I worry what others will think of me, if I really tell them how I feel about stuff.
:: How come do I over commit and under deliver.
:: I don't always pay attention to my kids when they are talking to me. Their talking to me IS a treasured moment. They are inviting me into their world. Do I want them to think I enjoy the computer, TV, Phone, ______ more than what they have to say.
:: Why do I try to work so much at home.
:: Why is it hard to trust others completely.
:: When did having a blog start to make me feel important. Why does it now.
:: What keeps me from being more direct.
:: Why don't I pray more than I do.
:: Why do I think I am better than what I really am.
:: How come I try to impress others with who I've met or what I've accomplished.
:: Why don't others follow.
:: I don't like my head shaved or with hair (not a question but had to get that in there).
:: Is God's Word as important to me than what I live out.
:: Do I believe the songs I sing.

Honestly, I have a few more ... but feel this list will keep me busy. Just a guy trying to work it out...trying to live it out...trying to love it out.

Answer your hearts most pressing question(s) ...

If you want a place for where others are sharing what's really in their heart....
visit PostSecret.com (warning: some of these are explicit but mostly ... sad)

(note: the questions were not meant to have question marks. I saw them as statements).

LifeShare - Prayer day 2

I know some were not able to leave a request yesterday, but if you have one you can share, I would like to pray for you today as well.

Hit comment and leave a message or email me at emaildlake@gmail.com

I will be praying for you at 10 pm (PST). Spread the word.

LifeShare: Let me pray for you today!

SWEET FREEZE FRAME FACE below...



For the next two days ... any request submitted here on FWIW will be prayed for. You can either submit a comment or email me at emaildlake@gmail.com

Thanks for taking time to share your life today.

LifeShare - Announcement

2002 Stats ...
Where: Long Beach International (California)
Age: 32
Motivation: personal goal helped by Melissa (special thanks to JG/MM)
Goal: to finish and not walk ... check and check
Time: 26.2 in 3 hrs. 58 min.

2008 Stats...
Where: PF Chang - Rock N' Roll (Arizona)
Age: 39
Motivation: Personal, Cause TBA
Goal: to finish and not walk ... and deep down want to beat my time.
Time: 6 am (time of my run tomorrow!)


"The best inspiration is not to outdo others, but to outdo yourself!" - Gatorade "Will to Win" Shirt.

Anyone want to tell me I can't do this ... and mean it! Bring it on ...

LifeShare - Day 3 / 4

LifeShare continues tonight ... check out ragamuffinsoul.com at 6 pm (PST) or LifeShare Blog.

See you there!

Links to check out:
mogulus.com

LifeShare - Day 2

LifeShare (LifeShare.TV)
Ragamuffinsoul.com
The Offsite by Robert Thompson
1 John 1:9

What is it you do not want to be found out about? Why?

PC image control and Polarization

Watching the new "PC" commercials with Bill Gates and Jerry Seinfeld, you can see Microsoft is really trying to reinvent themselves. I saw the newer commercial (here's an inside look) last night that showed celebrities and others confidently declared - "I'm a PC!"

While I applaud them for trying to reinvent ... am reminded of a quote I heard Steve Jobs say, "If you can't innovate, you have to imitate." It seems like Microsoft really wants a piece of the cool pie that Apple easily corners the market in technology.

It got me to think that there are many things that are polarizing in our society. What are you ...
- Mac or PC
- Conservative or Liberal
- Traditional or Progressive
- this or that .... fill in the blank

Just reading those words probably put an immediate image in your mind - either a person or personal bias.

Just thought it was interesting. Any other polarizing topics that come to your mind?
By they way, this blog was typed on a MacBook - I've been called a Mac Snob. It is what it is....

LifeShare - Day 1

Check out these links ... join in the online communities here too.
LifeShare - LifeChurch.TV
Ragamuffinsoul.com

Baby Palin Name

Sarah Palin has picked out an All-American set of names for her children. There's Track, Trig, Bristol, Willow, and Piper.

Ever wonder, What would your name would be if Sarah Palin was your mother? Well now you can find out! (first names are only needed)

Mine is Claw Washout Palin

What is yours?

[ht: @loswhit via Twitter]

Quote of the Day

"Becoming obsessed with what people think about you is the quickest way to forget what God thinks about you." -C. Groeschel

Living in the moment ... kid style

I read Hal Runkle's Scream Free Parenting Tip of the Day. More and more I see in my own life that balance is such a key to maintain spiritual, physical, emotional, health.

Here is Hal's Take today:

For a child, doing nothing is often much more valuable than doing something. They learn to entertain themselves, to find joy in simplicity, to problem solve, to be content. So, why is it that we spend our energy either pushing our children towards adulthood or holding them back from it?

These are two very dangerous extremes and the worst part is, many of us fluctuate between them! On one hand, we push our kids when we structure their every activity and send them for SAT tutoring before they even get into high school. Then we shake our heads when they seem to lack joy and have trouble maintaining relationships in adulthood. On the other hand, we hold them back when we overprotect them, intervene for them, and problem solve on their behalf. Then we complain when they are immature adults who don't seem to have initiative or drive. In both cases, we overmanage our kids because of our own anxiety.

One of the best ways to truly prepare your child for a successful adulthood is to neither overprotect nor rush their childhood. Relax and teach them to live in the moment. That is a skill that very few of their peers will possess and you'll be amazed at how they will flourish because of it.

Hal Runkel, LMFT, author of ScreamFree Parenting:
Raising Your Kids by Keeping Your Cool.

To get signup for daily emails click here.

Collection of Thoughts

There is a lot running through my head these days: 

// At The Crossroads, two people who've been battling terminal illnesses for a while now have passed within the last three weeks.  Jen McGrew and Mike Smith will be missed.

// I visited Bob and Nancy Thornton last night.  Bob has been battling many different ailments the last two years.  Seeing him on his death bed last night brought a lot of different emotions.  I am praying with Nancy that Bob will pass peacefully in his sleep.

// Watched House last night ... why is he the only one who can diagnose a patient correctly.  

// Temporarily misplaced my Man Card and watched Baby Mama last night.  I am glad my wife liked it.

// I have a love/hate relationship with golf.  One good shot will keep you coming back for more.  

// I've been running a bit lately.  Trying to put in about three/four times a week. I really like the idea of exercising every day ... being in shape.  Getting the idea into my action, that's the challenge!

// One of my new favorite, thought provoking blogs these days is John Burke's Soul Revolution ... check it out.

// Will post more about LifeShare ... may be a day behind on this.

// We are hosting our first 2|42 Growth Group tonight for the fall 2008.  We get meet and share life with four new families.  

Blog thoughts

I don't consider myself a writer. I work for one, who is outstanding. The thing about a blog to me is all about clearing what's in my head. If people read it, great! If not ... that's OK, a least it should be if the motive is right. I had my doubts about it in the beginning, somewhat.

Granted, I check to see how many have visited ... to my detriment. I am not sure what I am trying to prove to myself by checking. Part of me could care less of how many read FWIW and another part of me cares why people don't leave comments. Am I not asking the right questions? Are my readers too busy? Are they computer illiterate as to know how to leave a comment? No offense ... just letting you in my head.

The thing that bugs me is why I care about these things. Do I blog cause I want to be a cool kid in the neighborhood? Cause I think I have something to say ... and you should read it? At my core ... no.

Just want to continually keep my motives right and pure. That is my thoughts, before I lay me down to sleep. Feels good to get that out of my head!

Video Thrill Ride

Ever thought about what it would be like to to the luge, especially on the street?... here's your cyber chance. Crazy dudes ... it's about 3 min. but to get the full ride (10 minutes click here!)



[ht: double3]

LifeShare

Links referenced in video:
Lifechurch.tv
ragamuffinsoul.com
twitter.com

Anyone interested...(I know you may need more info...me too) let me know by a comment!

Col. Sanders @ In-N-Out

The Colonel Sanders in all his chicken glory ... hangin' out at In-N-Out Phoenix, AZ - in a tricked out Microbus!

Being Present: What a gift!

In watching the 911 memorial stuff this morning on CSPAN (yes, I watched CSPAN), I remembered how Melissa woke me up to tell me of the attacks that horrific morning in 2001. My heart still goes out to those who lost loved ones that day. I can't imagine the emotions they experience on this day.

In watching the Pentagon Memorial this morning, I saw President Bush and his wife take time to talk with the families. It wasn't rushed. And they took time to look people in the eyes as they listened.

It made me remember how important it is to be present when we talk or encounter people throughout our day. How many times have we been doing something only to experience an interruption by someone - maybe a coworker or a child or a customer - beckoning for our attention. I understand not every encounter weighs as heavy as talking to someone who's lost a loved one ... the point is how can we make that person feel valued in that moment?

I am going to work on that today. And tomorrow. And the next day ...

What can you do to help someone feel valued today?

NOTE: As I typed this my two of my kids came into talk to me. I stopped my thought process and acknowledged their request. Having A D D is no excuse not to be present.

Introduce yourself...

You're reading this and you know a bit about me. I would like to know a bit about you. COME OUT FROM BEHIND YOUR SCREEN!

Please hit comment or email me at emaildlake@gmail.com (it should take one minute).

1. Name:
2. From:
3. Pimp your blog/site:
4. What interests you about this blog (FWIW):
5. Any fun fact about yourself:

Thanks!

Fantasy Football - week 1

Now I will not post about my FF team every week but I thought I would share my team and week one.

Short story shorter ... I lost week one. I was up by 15 points going into the last game and Stinking Jay Cutler of the Broncos had an 18 point game.

Here is my team. Any suggestions?

Baby Swim Safety

I heard of a baby drowning here in Phoenix this weekend. So sad. So preventable.

Saw this on cyber-friend Brad's blog this morning. If you have infant/toddlers or have kids who can't swim, please look into this. (if you are in a reader: Click Here)

It's about 6 min. segment


Here is another example ... (sound comes in and out)


What do you think of this technique?

Bucketball

This little game is easy, fun and ... addicting.

I warned you!

(ht: double3 the Friday game guru)

Fantasy Football

I've started my second season playing FF with a group of dudes from the church. Last year I really didn't know what I was doing. This year I kind of do ... but we will see.

Football season makes for a fun fall/winter (college on Saturdays, pro on Sundays). My pick to win it all as of today .... College USC, Pro.... my heart says SD Chargers, my head says the NY Jets (Brett Farve sticking it to the PACK).

BTW - I finished in last place last year!

Who do you pick to win the Super Bowl? (say it now ... we will see)

Sleep and go seek!

When ever a story about a missing child is on the news, as a parent, I try to make mental note of being more aware of my kids (without being overbearing or paranoid) especially in public. My heart goes out to families who've experienced this tragedy.

Well this morning after waking up and saying hi, our four year old daughter, went missing. In the midst of getting coffee, putting load of wash in, and picking up around the house Gigi had disappeared and we didn't know where.

We have a pool and our first though was to check there! Not there (thank God). After checking usual and unusual spots, my wife glanced in a wicker basket used for floor pillows / blankets .... and there she was. She went back to sleep in the basket of cozies!

Whew!

Rhythms of Grace

I recently visited this passage again after feeling a little ... out of rhythm. For a drummer, that's not good. My tempo has been reset by these words.

"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly." Matt.11:28-30 - The Message

What do you do to reset your life tempo?

Lessons learned from Shawshank Redemption

Now I know this movie came out in 1994 and really didn't do very well in the box office. Since, it's gained a great following and has become one of the all-time greats - go figure!

I have it on DVD and have been meaning to re watch it for some time. I don't analyze films much, if at all ... but in review, there was some really cool themes in the movie. If you haven't watched the movie these may not make sense (I don't want to give too much away - No Spoilers!)

Lesson 1: HOPE - (see this too)
"Remember Red, hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies." We all need it, and it sustains even the weakest of hearts.

Lesson 2: Persistence
It's a main Hollywood theme. Tell somebody can't do something and you have a movie character people pull for. Rocky Balboa and Rudi - the little Notre Dame walk on - are two off the top of my head.

You feel that way with Andy, the lead character. Wanting to expand the prison library with no available funds, Andy writes a letter a week until given a little money and a few books. Not satisfied, he writes two letters a week and finally gets adequate help.

Lesson 3: Live in the Moment
One of my favorite lines in the movies goes, "Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying." How many times do we truly enjoy the moments in our lives? If we don't do the things in our life that make us happy allowing us to truly live, then we are simply working on dying.

Alcoholics Anonymous has a saying that goes: "You're either working on recovery or you're working on a relapse." Enjoy the moments, the relationships, the process before one day we look back and the moments are gone. (Boy aren't I reflective!)

Spend more time with family and friends. Tell loved ones how much!

The movie is rated R by the MPAA - language and prison violence

iTunes Top Five

Open your iTunes Library. Click on Play Count button. This will arrange all our songs by the amount of times you've played a song.

My top five:
1. Makes me wonder - Maroon 5 (24)
2. Happy Day - Steve Fee (20)
3. Mighty to Save - Hillsong (19)
4. Wake up call - Maroon 5 (19)
5. How could you do this? - The Great Fiction - (18)
Disclaimer: I like Maroon 5 but my wife likes them more than I, hence the double appearance in the Top five.

What is on your iTunes top five?

Lincoln got it right.

Any thoughts? (ht: Longbrake)

What is Hulu?

We recently got rid of our full cable package, cutting back to "basic." Me and my boys are grateful we still get the Discovery Channel!

I got the recommendation from a friend on Twitter. Not sure we need full cable. With sites like Hulu.com not sure we ever need to get a TIVO. Web 2.0 is pretty cool. Check it out ...

I do not endorse or recommend everything on Hulu.com

Any cool sites you know of?

Top 3 Benefits

I asked about 30 people that I know in ministry to give me their Top 3 Benefits of being in the ministry. The group of people are in various roles and stages in ministry. Some just a few years, some with 30 plus years of experience, and everywhere in between.

Some things can't be measured but only felt. This straw poll is in no way scientific but it was heartfelt. I wanted to hear the whys, feelings, and thoughts of those who, given the specific challenges (as with every responsibility), sacrifice yet continually are motivated to pursue and fulfill their calling.

TAKEAWAYS:
Most enjoyed being involved with or around people's lives. This was a common denominator. Flexibility of time, working on a team, and knowing there was obedience to God all motivated some in their calling.

Thanks to all 25 who were able to participate.

For a complete list click here!

Quiet

It's quiet in my house. I can hear faintly the iPod playing in my boys room . . . I just went and turned it down. The air-conditioning just clicked off. David Letterman just concluded.

I sit in quiet. I can't remember when I last did this. As you read this, there may be something going on around you making noise - music, kids, coworker, TV - something.

Life can get loud these days. I think I turn it up too, so I can't just sit and be.

Not sure why but I am going to sit here for a bit ... and listen.

When is the last time you were quiet, alone with your thoughts?
Psalm 46:10 - "Be still, and know that I am God..."

Working on it!

There's been a lot of buzz on FOR WHAT IT's WORTH regarding my recent post where I listed several stats regarding pastors, etc. I asked for and received a comment|feedback yesterday from Anne Jackson. I asked her for her three benefits (keep reading), which she shared, but also shed light on the statistics.

Her comment was, "what is encouraging is...even though these stats are from reliable sources, they're not scientific." In doing the research for her book, she tackled the allure of these stats especially to those in the ministry. I must confess ... I am guilty of Info. Porn! Check this article out when you get a chance - which she references some of the same stats. I know that is her opinion, and I agree with it regarding this stuff.

By the way, Anne's new book Mad Church Disease drops in February of 2009. I am looking forward to the read regarding overcoming the burnout epidemic.

I mentioned at the end of the Pastor Stats post that I was thinking about blogging about the top three joys / benefits of being in the ministry. I started by emailing a bunch of my friends who are in the ministry and have received some great input.

Although the results of my straw poll will not be scientific, my hope is that we can shed light on some of the good that ministers enounter doing what they do. I am collecting and decifering the info. and my hope is to post something on Friday.

The bottom line for me with all this is to raise awareness that we all need each other. It's when we isolate and conceal that some of those stats (scientific or not) can become a reality in our own lives.

Ferrell "imitating" Tiger!

I was reminded of this video today. Funny stuff!



"What can I say, I am the best!" Will Ferrell accepting an award for Tiger Woods.

The Olympics: Recap

Over the last two weeks I blogged about the Olympics a few times - Seven to be exact! Here are a few of my thoughts as a recap of 2008 Summer Olympiad:

*I talked about the overall medal count here. It bothered me that, in reality, most don't care about silver and bronze. I think the USA makes a big deal with the overall medal count to make us fell like "WE WON."
*Interesting fact from here: China won 27 gold medals in judged sports. The United States won 4 gold medals in judged sports.
*Michael Phelps' performance was incredible. The 100 m Butterfly Final was unbelievable. The relay where Jason Lezak came from behind was another favorite moment.
*Gymnast Shawn Johnson is cute as a button.
*The hand motions on the balance beam bug me.
*Both US 4x100 m relay teams dropping the baton was disappointing.
*Usain Bolt's wins | records were ... jaw dropping! What makes them more incredible is that he's 21!
*The Opening Ceremonies amazed me in two ways: 1. the organization and precision of so many involved. 2. Li Ning's touch lighting sky walk. (It would be good if all other host cities leave Beijing alone and not try to duplicate what they did). It was what it was.
*I'd like to see more handball.
*Beach volleyball (volleyball in general) seemed like it got the most coverage ... to me!
*I'm a huge basketball fan but really didn't get into the "REDEEM TEAM." I am glad they won, and glad they were respectable ... just wasn't into them. Not sure why.
*Leona Lewis and Jimmy Page were closing ceremony highlights for me.

What were your highlights?

Pastor Stats

I am kind of blown away by these stats. I began thinking of all the people I know connected to ministry that have gone through a divorce. Also, I am not surprised by percent who feel unqualified. It seems (my guess) that some of these stats may be the same in the marketplace work force|society.

50% of pastors’ marriages will end in divorce (Same as US national average)
80% of seminary graduates will leave ministry in the first 5 years
70% of pastors are grossly underpaid (compared to the amount of work they do)
80% of pastors’ spouses believe their spouse is overworked
50% of pastors feel unable to meet the needs of the job
80% of pastors say they have insufficient time with their family
56% of pastors’ spouses have no close friends
80% of pastors’ kids seek professional help for depression
80% of pastors feel unqualified and discouraged in their role as pastors
50% of pastors are so discouraged they would leave the ministry if they could, but have no other way of making a living.
85% of pastors said their greatest problem is they are sick and tired of dealing with problem people.
90% of pastors said the hardest thing about ministry is dealing with uncooperative people
95% of pastors do not regularly pray with their spouses
70% of pastors do not have a close friend, confidant or mentor
66% of pastors and their families feel pressure to model the ideal family to their congregations and communities
5 years - the average tenure of a pastor at a church

1500 pastors leave ministry each month due to moral failure, burnout or contention in their churches

Pastors who work fewer than 50 hours a week are 35% more likely to be terminated

The average church member expects the pastor to be able to juggle 16 major tasks

Approximately 4,000 new churches begin each year while more than 7,000 churches close down each year.

Sources:
http://www.jesuscreed.org/?p=2693
Pastors at Greater Risk, H B London, Jr., and Neil B Wiseman, Regal Books, © 2003
http://www.maranathalife.com/lifeline/stats.htm
These statistics came from across denomination lines, and have been gleaned from various reliable sources such as Pastor to Pastor, Focus on the Family, Ministries Today, Charisma Magazine, TNT Ministries, Campus Crusade for Christ and the Global Pastors Network.
http://www.robpetrini.com/

I am thinking of blogging about the joys of being a pastor. May have to do some straw polling.

Dancing Matt Dude

I saw this dude on Kimmel. Maybe you've seen his dancing vids - His second video has been watched 10,871,835 times on YouTube! Matt Harding traveled the world, after leaving his video game profession, and dances in countless countries around the world.

If you haven't seen it ... I think it's pretty cool.

from Matthew Harding on Vimeo.

Fun Stuff

I enjoy hanging with my family. We've been doing a lot of fun stuff together lately. One thing is lots of swimming. We play a "homemade" game called creatively "WaterBall." At least I thought it was. You can see a quick sample of how we play this the fast paced, high scoring, make it take it, rough-housing game here.

For board games . . . we do the classic Scrabble (count it as homeschool - haha) and a killer award-winning game called Blokus. It has it's own website! If you have a family and don't have this one - it's a goodie!

There are a couple of websites we frequent for games and such.
Fancy Pants - cool little underground game!
Launchball - we count this as science too! It really challenge the thinking.

Did I mention the Wii & Wii Fit?- Good times!

Not sure what happened?

I think my dates are a little off with my blog thsese days! I am checking to see what the issue is.

Do you have AAADD?

Why do I relate to this?
__________________________

I have recently been diagnosed with A. A. A. D. D.
(Advanced Absentminded Attention Deficit Disorder)

This is how it goes:

I decide to wash the car; I start toward the garage and notice
the mail on the table.

OK, I'm going to wash the car, but first I'm going to go through
the mail.

I lay the car keys down on the desk, discard the junk mail, and
notice the trashcan is full.

OK, I'll just put the bills on my desk and take the trashcan
out, but since I'm going to be near the mailbox anyway, I'll pay
these few bills first.

Now, where is my checkbook?
Oops, there's only one check left.
My extra checks are in my desk.
Oh, there's the coke I was drinking.
I'm going to look for those checks.
But first I have to put my coke further away from the computer,
or maybe I'll pop it into the fridge to keep it cold for awhile.

I head towards the kitchen and my flowers catch my eye; they
need some water.

I set the coke on the counter, and uh oh.
There are my glasses. I was looking for them all morning.
I'd better put them away first.

I fill a container with water and head for the flower pots.

Uh oh.....someone left the TV remote in the kitchen.
We'll never think to look in the kitchen tonight when we want to
watch television, so I'd better put it back in the family room
where it belongs.

I splash some water into the pots and onto the floor, I throw
the remote onto a soft cushion on the sofa and I head back down
the hall trying to figure out what it was I was going to do?

End of the Day: The car isn't washed, the bills are unpaid, the
coke is sitting on the kitchen counter, the flowers are half-
watered, the checkbook still only has one check in it and I
can't seem to find my car keys.

When I try to figure out how come nothing got done today, I'm
baffled because I KNOW I WAS BUSY ALL DAY LONG!!!!!

I realize this is a serious condition and I'll get help, but
first I think I'll check my email...
____________
Do you?

HOPE

Anne Jackson is good at asking questions. Today (Aug. 19) she asked: What makes the Church different?

We offer HOPE. I think God that I wake up with HOPE. Things aren't perfect - far from it. But HOPE is the anchor in my heart that my existence is not about taking up space.

HOPE is a powerful force that goes way beyond wishing! It's an expectation that secures belief when everything around screams "give up!" Here are a few thoughts of inspiration:

Hebrews 10:23
Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.

Ephesians 2:12
remember that at that time you were separate from Christ, excluded from citizenship in Israel and foreigners to the covenants of the promise, without hope and without God in the world.\

Ephesians 4:4
There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to one hope when you were called—

1 Timothy 4:10
(and for this we labor and strive), that we have put our hope in the living God, who is the Savior of all men, and especially of those who believe.

Hebrews 6:19
We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.
Psalm 42:11
Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.

Ephesians 1:18
I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints,

Romans 15:13
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Going for Gold

I blogged about if one had a choice between one gold medal (one time) or 2 bronze and 4 silver...in an Olympic games, which would you choose. I asked several people the same question in conversations the last week and the overwhelming response was GOLD BABY!

In light of that...if Gold medal are what matter to us, why such a big deal about overall medal count. As of today the USA lead in overall medal count 79 to 76 over China. Click on Gold medal count ... it's China 43 to USA's 26.

I ask...if all that matters to most is Gold does this mean that China has better athletes then the USA? Do we (the media) keep an overall count to make the USA look better?

What do you think?

Wordle

My friend Dan first showed me how these worked. Then I saw them here and here. I thought it would be cool to see what words popped up in my blog. Here you go...

Check it out yourself.

R E S P E C T

How many times have you been in a restaurant or store and saw a kid meltdown only to have the parent follow suit, jerking their arm here and there, screaming at the kid for disrespect, etc. If only, I had always acted correctly in every meltdown situation. When a kid disobeys their parent, it's easy for the parent to become emotionally wrapped up in the situation, taking personally and such. Guilty!

I read a daily email of ScreamFree Parenting by Hal Runkel. Today Hal addresses some of this in today's email:

This is one of the hardest things about parenting, in my mind. And it seems like I'm not alone. We get emails every day from exasperated parents who are fed up with their children's lack of respect. Here's the truth: You can't control whether or not your kids show you respect. What you can control is whether or not you show it to your kids and whether or not you act respect-worthy – even when they don't.

As with most parenting issues, this has nothing to do with them and everything to do with you. Be the grown up in every situation and then be confident enough to allow your child's immature attempts at disrespect to fall off of you like the tiny arrows of the Lilliputians in Gulliver's Travels. After all, their barbs cannot hurt you without your permission.

So, instead of huffing and puffing with intimidation when they act disrespectfully, smile to yourself and remember that you don't need their affirmation to know that you are a good parent. Set simple and clear cut consequences and follow up without taking it all personally. You'll be showing them what real respect looks like and you just might even earn some along the way.

Hal Runkel, LMFT, author of ScreamFree Parenting: Raising Your Kids by Keeping Your Cool. He's a regular on NBC's Today Show. Click here to view segments.